5 Ways to Love Your Husband
No, this post is not about your physical relationship in marriage. Although, that might really help your husband feel encouraged and feel loved. This post is much broader. We are talking about ways you as a wife or mother can strengthen your whole family.
We all know men are told to love their wives as they love themselves and as Christ loved the church. And we have heard that the wife is to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33). But what about love? Is the wife suppose to love her husband?
While there is no direct command in Scripture, like there is for men, there is a passage that at least implies the wife is to love her husband. In Titus chapter 2 Paul gives a series of instructions for various groups of people within the church. The older men, for example, are to be temperate, dignified, sensible and so on (Titus 2:2). Paul goes on to describe the appropriate attitudes and actions of older women.
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Notice that the older women are to encourage the younger women to love their husbands and love their children. That verse should raise a few questions in your mind.
Younger women need to be encouraged to love their husbands and children? Why? Wouldn’t most wives just naturally love their husband and kids? And since the letter is addressing Christians, wouldn’t unconditional love be the norm for anyone filled with the Holy Spirit? Yes, of course.
Hopefully you feel love for your husbands and children most of the time by our modern understanding of love. Although, many young wives and moms probably feel they could use a little help from someone with more experience. And unconditional love is a by-product of being filled with the Spirit. However, what Paul is saying is actually a little different than these ideas.
As you probably know there are several Greek words for love. The one we most commonly think of is agape which we normally think of as unconditional love. This is the love that loves through disappointment and rejection. However the Greek word translated love in Titus 2:4 comes from the root philos.
Philos is the love of a close friend. Sometimes it’s referred to as a brotherly love. For example Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love. Philos is the love of a close friend, the love you feel for someone you want to be around, the love you feel for someone you just like.
What would that kind of love look like in a marriage?
Ask yourself, what does friendship look like? Watch your husband and children. What do they do with their friends?
5 Ways to Love Your Husband
1. Promote common mission, vision, or goals for the family.
Friends usually have common values. As the wife and mother be proactive and develop the values of your family. How can you help them see God’s hand at work around them? What is your family’s mission in life? Goals? Try mission projects the whole family can get involved in such as:
- feeding the homeless in a local outreach ministry.
- providing Christmas presents for the family of single mom who is struggling.
- support a missionary or a short term mission trip. Lead your family to learn everything they can about the people and the location.
2. Act friendly.
This probably sounds over simplistic. But, are you friendly or antagonistic with your family? Do they dread spending time with you because you are negative and always talking about what’s wrong? Are you friendly? Encouraging? Curious about their day? Or aggravated about your day and all the things THEY did to make it worse?
3. Get interested in the things they are interested in.
Go out and play! Friendships often form along common interests. Most guys are looking for someone they can go out and play with. They are looking for a game. How often have you heard of the football player marrying the cheer leader? He found someone with a common interest, someone who was there when he was out playing. Find out what your husband and kids are interested in and get involved. Go hang out with them. If you can’t or won’t participate in the games or sports, go along, and be the official photographer. Everyone loves to see photos of themselves!
4. Watch their movies once in a while.
A running joke among American men is that they are being forced to watch a chic flick with their wife. They'll say, “The Hallmark channel? What did I do wrong?”
Turn the tables on them and watch shows or movies they are interested in.
5. With your husband, a dynamic physical relationship certainly helps.
Wrapping it up
Paul told Titus to encourage older women to encourage younger women to love their husbands and love their children by being friendly. What is your overall all attitude with your family? Would they see you as friendly? Easy to be with? Easy to talk to? Or would they say you were condemning? Critical? Harsh? Legalistic?
Be fun! Don’t be difficult and self centered. Reach outside yourself and be fun!
We love offering you resources that we believe will help you live closer to your Lord. A great study we have is one that relates to what we've been talking about is Building a Marriage that Really Works. It covers the basics of marriage in a simple and straight forward way. Check it out.